Friday, July 31, 2009
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Monday, July 20, 2009
Monday, July 13, 2009
Fancy Fast Food
Spicy Chicken Sushi (Fancy Popeyes Chicken) by FancyFastFood
Ingredients:
- 1 two-piece Popeyes Bonafide spicy fried chicken dinner (breast and wing), with a biscuit, a side of cole slaw, and a large Coke (no ice)
- 1 Loaded Chicken Wrap
- 1 large order of red beans and rice
- packets of Popeyes Louisiana hot sauce
- wasabi paste (for garnish)
Friday, July 10, 2009
High-rise Fridge Delivery
Posted at: 2009-07-06 09:51:49 | 124 comments | Add Comment
Original ad:
I bought this GE refrigerator a few years ago, but just got a new one for my kitchen and no longer need it. It still works perfectly and is very large, perfect as your main fridge for a kitchen. I'm asking $300 for it. I am located in Brooklyn, but will be willing to deliver it up to 25 miles for a small fee.
From Mike Partlow to ************@**********.org
Hello,
I am very interested in your fridge. Is it still available? If so, how much would you charge to deliver it to my place in the city?
Mike
From marty ******* to Me
Yes mike it is still available. I will deliver it for an extra $50. where is your place located?
From Mike Partlow to marty *******
I want it delivered to my office on the 67th floor of the ********* Building on **rd st and **********. Now I am pretty sure that the fridge won't fit in the elevator, and if it does, it would exceed the weight capacity, so you will have to carry it up the stairs. I hope this won't be a problem.
When can you deliver it? I work Monday-Friday 9-5 and can be there any time. I do need it sooner rather than later, however.
Mike
From marty ******* to Me
that is absurd. Im not going to heave this very heavy fridge up 67 flights of stairs. Dosent your building have a cargo/utility elevator?
From Mike Partlow to marty *******
Marty, you don't have to lug it up 67 flights of stairs. There is a loading bay around back that starts on the 2nd floor, and I'm pretty sure this building does not count the 13th floor. So you are really only carrying it up 65 flights of stairs. There was a cargo elevator, but building management has told me that I am never allowed to use it again after I attempted to bring my motorcycle up to my office. They don't let just anyone use it anymore, so that isn't an option.
From marty ******* to Me
absolutely not. do you have any idea how heavy this thing is? why do you even need a full size fridge in your office? just buy one of those small mini fridges.
From Mike Partlow to marty *******
Marty,
You are obviously not a very good salesman if you are trying to suggest I buy something else instead of your product. How is that working out for you? Do you make a lot of money that way?
Not that it is any of your business, but I cannot afford rent in my apartment anymore and am slowly trying to move into my office so I can live out of there. I plan on disguising the fridge as a filing cabinet so my company will not get suspicious. If anyone asks you what you are doing when you are moving it into my office, just tell them that you are delivering my new filing cabinet. Try to tuck the power cord under the fridge so they don't realize that it is actually a fridge.
How does next Tuesday work? I am free all day.
Mike
From marty ******* to Me
mike I don't think you understood me. I am NOT delivering the fridge to your office. it's way too big and heavy, and I doubt you will find anyone willing to carry it up to the 67th floor.
From Mike Partlow to marty *******
Marty,
I'm sorry, I must have misread your ad. I could have sworn it said "will be willing to deliver it up to 25 miles for a small fee." Am I crazy, or did your ad say that?
I don't recall it saying "will be willing to deliver it as long as your building isn't too big and scary for my weak little body to carry it."
From marty ******* to Me
Hey listen asshole. You are a Fuckin idiot if you honestly think somebody will do this. It has nothing to do with strength it is just an insane request. the only way you will get a fucking fridge up there is with an elevator. fuck off.
From Mike Partlow to marty *******
Marty, I get what you are saying. It doesn't have anything to do with strength, because even my 120 lb ex-wife could carry this thing up. It is clearly a lack of motivation. You need to be in the right mindset to be able to do this.
Tell you what, I'll stand behind you as you carry it up, and shout encouraging motivational words at you to keep you going. I'll say things like "c'mon Marty, you can do it! You're almost there!" and "don't give up!" I'll even bring a few bottles of Gatorade in case you get thirsty. What flavor do you want? I have frost and orange, but I really don't recommend orange because it doesn't even taste like Gatorade.
So see you Tuesday?
Mike
From marty ******* to Me
shut the fuck up.
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Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Movie Monday (on tuesday)
A day late, but not a dollar short as I will be discussing two movies this week. The first is an Oscar nominated flick that goes by Revolutionary Road. I know what you are not thinking, but yes, it is the second film I am reviewing in a row that features Kate Winslet. It is about a couple, Kate and Leo who meet in NYC in the 50's, who are both young and seemingly idealistic with ideas about moving to France and being free. By the way, prior to this, Leo has not really put out good work in a minute and yes, he is good in this film, but not as good as Kate. Remember him in Basketball Diaries and What's Eating Gilbert Grape? He was acting. I take that back, he was good in The Beach and Gangs of New York, but his shite accent in Blood Diamond hurt that hurt movie. I guess he was good in that other Marty Scorsese flick, but his competition was Marky Mark(who I think is a good actor sometimes, say hi to your mother for me) and Alec Baldwin who wins automatically because he is Jack Donaghy. So, Leo does some good and bad like everyone, and no I did not like Titanic, and no, not because I am boatist.
Revolutionary Road follows a couple out to suburban Connecticut (holler) and their trials and tribulations of giving up city life for a family life. Even if you don't live in a city, I am sure you can relate to this movie on some level, whether you have extra-marital affairs with secretaries (I know it is administrative assistants, but I am keeping it time period specific) or neighbors, or you despise your significant other because you both created a life neither of you really want. I have already said too much, just know this movie does the whole past to present thing the whole time. Not saying that is a bad thing, but you should be aware.
The second movie I watched was The Night of the White Pants with Tom Wilkenson, Nick Stahl, and Selma Blair. I am going to post no imdb hyperlinks or write about it because there is no reason to watch it unless you have Showtime On Demand and have already watched every movie it has to offer.
Friday, July 3, 2009
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Smooth
911 call for concert escort
| Contributor: WPTV staff Email: webteam@wptv.com Last Update: 6/30 4:21 pm |
Reported by: Jessica Clark
NBC
A 20-year-old man in Jacksonville, Florida, has been arrested for misusing 911.
Deputies say Michael Kruse of Jacksonville initially called 911 because he felt sick on June 21st.
The call went into the 911 call center in St. Johns County.
Kruse's speech was slurred and the dispatcher had difficulty understanding him.
Dispatch: "Are you sure you haven't taken something sir? Because you're not making a whole lot of sense."
Caller: "I've been smoking marijuana."
Dispatch: "You've been smoking marijuana?"
Caller: "Yes."
Dispatch: "Do you want a deputy to come and take you to jail?"
Caller: "Why?"
Dispatch: "You just told me on a taped line you just got done smoking marijuana."
Caller: "Awww. Are you serious?"
Sgt. Chuck Mulligan, spokesman with the St. Johns County Sheriff's
Office, said deputies located Kruse, took him to a family member, and gave him a stern lecture about 911.
Hours later on June 22nd, Kruse called 911 again. This time he was driving on I-95. He told the dispatcher he wanted a police escort to see the rapper, Lil Wayne, in concert in Miami.
Dispatch: "You want a police escort to take you to Miami?"
Caller: "Or, you have a helicopter?"
Dispatch: "We don't just send helicopters up for rappers."
Caller: "Well, I'm driving there right now. I just wanted the fastest way to get there. I didn't want to get pulled over on the highway."
The dispatcher had Kruse pull off the interstate at the State Road 207 exit. There, deputies met Kruse and arrested him for misuse of 911Cannot Wait
Of course I can wait because it does not come out until summer's end, but the original OB4CL is still in itunes rotation and was one of the defining rap discs of my youth. I can remember bumping this in discmans connected to car stereos and especially when Rae raps, "peace Connecticut" in Incarcerated Scarfaces. You heard that right, say something.